People Who Don’t Have Text Message Etiquette.

If a person isn’t pissing you off while you’re with them, hey are pissing you off over the internet, or, for this particular blog, text.

1. If you’ve just sent me a text message and then I respond to you within a minute of your text….but then you never respond to mine: You’re a fucking asshole. End of story. What are you doing that is so important in the minute I just sent you a message that you can’t respond? YOU SENT ME A TEXT! That means that you wanted to talk to me.

2. Don’t use numbers or incorrect verbiage when you text. “R U ready 4 2nite?” Jesus Christ. If half your keyboard doesn’t work, that I can understand. If you only had one hand, I could also understand. But you don’t, you’re just fucking lazy. The only exception to this rule would be twitter. Because they understand that no one wants to read a 500 character text message. Ever.

3. Please don’t make your text message ring a song. I’m not talking about ten seconds of a song, I’m talking about an ENTIRE FUCKING SONG. Cut that shit out.

4. Take the goddamn time to make sure you are actually sending me a text, and not someone else who has a similar name to mine.  I honestly don’t pay enough attention to what is going on my my daily life, so getting a confusing text is the last thing I need.

5. If you receive my number from a mutual friend or a bathroom stall at a rest stop.  Don’t make me guess who you are in a text.  If I didn’t have your number (or give you mine) in the first place, chances are you aren’t that important in the first place.

If you don’t do these things, you might just make my life a little less hateful.  Ha!  Who am I kidding?

Old People That Care About the Environment

This is the combination of two things that annoy me, together they equal something I hate.

Example:

One day while I was at work, I was taking out the cardboard to be recycled. I opened my door to the outside of our store, and started to open the door to where the recycling bins and garbage bins are. A car was parked in the handicap spot. An old woman emerges from her vehicle and says to me, “I HOPE YOU’RE RECYCLING THAT!”

Screaming at me. Fucking screaming at me. Probably because I’m under the age of seventy and I “don’t know any better.”

She started muttering something about why recycling was good, so I said, “I don’t care,” and closed the door.

I’m trying to figure out where older people get off giving me knowledge about recycling and “going green”. I’m not talking like Al Gore old, I’m talking like…”Tales from the Crypt” old. Because in all honesty, don’t you think the Earth wouldn’t be in such a “global disaster” if the older generations had TAKEN CARE OF THE FUCKING EARTH IN THE FIRST PLACE?!

Then I wouldn’t have to listen to old people scream at me about closing the fucking loop on the goddamn recycling logo. Plus, polar bears would have a place to sleep at night.

……..That was a polar ice cap melting reference.

Making a Blog.

Something I’m growing to hate at this very moment is building a blog. Oh, they tell you it’s going to be easy, but it clearly isn’t. WordPress fucking tricked me. Right off the bat, I try to change the header so I don’t have this “Just Another WordPress.com weblog” bullshit at the top. When the hell did web and blog become one word?

Okay. I just checked. Apparently weblog has been one word for a while. I guess typing an extra ‘b’ and hitting the space bar was too much for some people. Lazy assholes.

Anyway. I tried to change the header, and it wouldn’t let me. So until I figure out how to change it, or make a banner, it will sit there mocking me. Fuck you header, and fuck you WordPress……but, thanks for the free blog.